if your juice could talk

The following conversation took place after I gave each of the boys a cup of juice in the car the other day:

Sam: (after laughing his evil laugh) I'm going to eat you!
Sam : (in a higher voice representing the juice) No, don't eat me!
Ben: I'm going to eat you too!
Ben: (in higher voice) No, you're crazy!

That's a little glimpse into our lives.

Christmas Trip (or everything that can go wrong does)

We finally made it down to Phoenix and we are so glad to be here. Because, frankly, we had our doubts. Yesterday, we woke up at various times during the 5 am hour and got the last bits and details pulled together, walked out the door, locked it up, and turned to the car. We saw a river of oil gushing forth.

Dang it.

Soooooo, Zach ran down to the closest gas station and got more oil and another filter (our filter blew out) and replaced them both (he did all of this in less than an hour, by the way. Ya, he's totally awesome.) Then we got on the road. Just a minor set back. No worries.

We're heading down the highway and we hit a detour. Dang it. It took us all the way to the coast and it took us over an hour to get there. Before the detour we were 190 miles from Los Angeles. After the detour we were 210. How does that work?

Then we hit the L.A. traffic. We spent over 200 miles going bumper to bumper. It wasn't clear until we got to the east side of L.A. Sam gave up about half way through. He said wanted to go home. He was done.

So, in the end a 12 to 13 hour trip took 17 and a half hours. We finally ended up getting there at 2:30 am. Totally exhausted. Or rather, Zach and I were, but Ben and Sam had been sleeping the last several hours of driving so they were ready to play. Sigh.

The bright moments: we got to see the beautiful Pacific oceans, including seeing dolphins swimming off the coast, the boys behaved wonderfully, and now we're here. And that's nice.

The New "Slug Bug"

Katie and I have gotten bored of that tired old "Slug Bug" game. Easy game to play, especially when you live the campus life-style we do. But there is always that pang of guilt for calling the Volkswagen Beetle a Bug(two different models), and slug beetle just doesn't cut it. Call it the guilt of intellectual dishonesty.

Our solution? The Prius Punch. This car is as recognizable as the Volkswagen cars and they are plentiful. In addition to working out our anti-eco-liberal anger, we can have a little fun in life. The game works exactly the same way, we just substitute the Toyota Prius for the Bug and Voila! And let me tell you the Prius may be even more plentiful in this part of the country.

City by the Bay

San Fransisco Skyline

As promised, here are the photos from our trip to San Fransisco after Thanksgiving. This was our first real foray into the city since moving here. Aren't we slackers?

Sam and Ben looking into the Christmas shop windows. They had puppies and kittens in these windows that you could adopt. Ultra sweet. Unfortunately everyone in the city was trying to look into these windows at the same time as us.

Grampie, Katie, Jonathan, Zach, Ben and Sam in front of the gate to Chinatown. (I don't know what Jonathan and Zach are looking at in this one. They both look a little surprised. We saw a lady doing yoga on a store's windowsill, but I don't think that was it.)

We spent a good portion of our time in Chinatown. I, for one, don't feel completely comfortable in Chinatown. I think I've seen too much film noir. Behind every restaurant and souvenir shop I imagined crazy noir-ish shenanigans going on. And shady detectives eating noodles and maintaining a running internal monologue. I blame you for this, Bogie.

Ben, riding the giant turtle statue, Sam and Grammie.

I did manage to work in about twenty different versions of the "forget it, it's Chinatown" quote before Zach said I had to stop.

After some good noodles (f.y.i. chow mein noodles are the classic long, skinny noodles you are familiar with. Chow fun noodles and long and flat, and wide. Different thing, people. Luckily, both are yummy.), we headed down to Fisherman's Wharf to see all those crazy sea lions.

Crazy Sea Lions

Ben thought these guys were awesome. And we had a detailed discussion of the eating habits of the sea lion inhabitants. They eat fish. Sam fell asleep, so he missed out on this one. I gave him ice cream after we got home to make up for it. He said he was cool with it.

Jonathan, Zach, Ben and Grammie looking at the sea lions.

Ben, looking like a bear-hat wearing angel.

Little Bear Ben and Grampie have a chat.

San Fransisco, all lit up. That's Dad on the corner there.

Good times were had by all. Thanks, you guys! For coming and playing with us and for getting us up to San Fransisco. We had lots of fun. In spite of that last 90 degree hill. Or maybe because of it? No. Definitely not. Come again! And we'll avoid the hills.

Beach Day

In honor of my family coming to visit us in sunny California over Thanksgiving, it was perpetually cloudy.  In spite of it, we decided to trek through the foothills on over to the ocean anyway.  And, it was gorgeous.  

So, without further ado, here are some fun photos of our beach adventures.

Sam and Ben, playing in the sand

Sam and Zach, running from the waves.  There were several times that the waves were so close that Zach picked Sam up and carried him the rest of the way.  Good times were had by all.

My Dad and Mom.  These Mainers weren't cold at all.  The California residents were freezing.

Zach and Sam.  A close call.

My brother Jonathan.  Looking quite GQ, I think.  Or should it be JQ?  Haha!  

(Cricket.  Cricket.)

Sam, Zach, Jonathan, and Mom.  

This is one photo before my Dad assumed his classic, lay down anywhere that is vaguely comfortable pose.  Which is his habit.  Sadly, that picture is still on Zach's laptop, which is with Zach.

The Cliffs and the Sea

Jonathan, Sam and Katie.  Booty shots.

We also stopped by the Happy Taco.  Which is fabulous.  Try their agua de fresa and the verde pork.  Delish!  

Random Facts from the Day

• I conversed with a lady in the park in broken, but intelligible, Spanish
• I currently have 36 (36!) tabs open in Firefox
• The boys dumped their sand filled boots out in their room 3 minutes after I vacuumed
• I mailed the second batch of Christmas gifts.
• I found out there was such a thing as an iron-on transfer pencil. Crafty life as I knew it changed forever.
  

And for enduring my random facts, here is a cute picture of little people:

Sam sitting in a baby car seat, which was way too small for him, eating popcorn and watching Batman

Ben, being a ham.

Don't worry, pictures from beach and S.F. still coming. I promise. Eventually.

The Feast

The Thanksgiving Feast
(and Kimball, who snuck into the photo and who is absolutely adorable)

Here is the feast, my friends. We had turkey (glorious), red-mashed potatoes (insane), bacon wrapped dates (delicious), stuffing (traditional and Mexican - both great), cranberry sauce, cranlillie (wonderful), maple-glazed carrots (yummy), asparagus in a pomegranate sauce (heavenly), and country green beans (mm...mm...good). And then we several pies (pumpkin, mincemeat, and chocolate cream) and a pumpkin cobbler with whipped cream and ice cream for desert. It was fabulous. Fabulous.

Zach and me, in our chef coats that my family gave us. I think the black accents make Zach the head chef and I'm cool with that. Anything that means I don't have to stick my hand inside the dark, echoy, cavern that is the inside of a turkey is a good thing.

Thanks so much to Mom, for being our kitchen lackey (she didn't have a coat, only an apron, so there wasn't really anything we could do about it. A kitchen without rules is chaos.) And thanks to Todd and Betty and Andrew and Kim for coming over and celebrating with us. And bringing food. :) It was wonderful.

It was also great to be able to spend some time with some of my family. My Mom, Dad and younger brother came in for a few days.

Uncle Jonathan hanging out with Batman and Robin.

Grampie and Ben. I'm not 100% sure what is going on here. But they had fun.

It was a great holiday. Pictures of our trip to the beach and San Fransisco forthcoming. Stay tuned!

Welcome, Sophia Joy!

This is my brand, new niece Sophia Joy! Isn't she a cutie? She was born Wednesday, September 19th to Cory and Sarah. Everything went perfectly and everyone is healthy. Congrats, you guys! Welcome to the family, Sophie!

Setting the Record Straight

First, my dear, beautiful wife is a saint.

Yes, the boys made a mess. Here is a video of the initial cleanup:

Yes, I am a slave driver. Standing made me fell sicker, but after a heroic struggle to get most of the mess up with towels we went upstairs to watch Jake Long American Dragon on Netflix. Midway through the second episode I tossed the boys on the bed. rushed for the bathroom, and after leaving my dinner for the fishes, lay prone on the hallway floor. In my vulnerable state the boys attacked. They mercilously jumped on me and tattooed me with ball point pens. Luckily, seeing as I wasn't worthy prey they quickly turned on each other.

I don't remember when Katie got home. I just remember the relief. So here's to her.

it never rains, but it pours...

grape juice.

So, we had another episode involving two people around three feet tall and a mess. Only this time, instead of eggs, it involved a freshly made pitcher of grape juice. I wasn't there for the actual mess making, I was at a Enrichment activity (hurray for Midnight Madness crafts), but was called home early because Zach is violently ill and, well, the boys had destroyed our house.

Luckily, the juice was spilled on the linoleum this time. Unluckily, it seeped under most of our large appliances (i.e. washer, dryer, stove). And this mess only took me about half an hour to clean up! Huzzah for small victories! I did have to move the washer and dryer around though. If I was truly into full disclosure and honesty, I would have taken a picture of exactly what was under the dryer, in addition to the grape juice. But, I'm not. I will tell you that lots of lint, two fridge magnets spelling "HO", and a chicken bone were involved.

Next order of business: Toddler Proof the Fridge. Like, last week.

you can't make an omlette...

Before I delve into the horrors that have transpired under our roof, I'd like to first say, that I had two days in a row last week that where almost perfect. The boys were well behaved (mostly), the house was clean (mostly), and I got some of the things on my to-do list done. It was great. I just wanted to let everyone out there know that it's not always crazy insane at our house.

Now, moving on.

I was upstairs looking for recipes for Thanksgiving. And I heard the boys laughing. And I thought, "ah, they are so cute!" and I continued looking. But the laughing continued. In our house, too much laughter like that needs investigated. Because the boys get a wild thrill out of doing things they are not suppose to. So I head downstairs and see this...


And this...

And a whole lot more. That's right, folks. The boys broke eggs all over our carpet. And then they rubbed them around with their hands and ran through them, leaving little yolky foot prints all over the floor.

I was livid. Absolutely livid.

But, in spite of my almost blind rage, I was in control of myself enough to remember that I loved them and did not sell the boys to the circus, and had the presence of mind to take pictures of this wretched event, even though they don't really do it justice. Because I wanted to share it with everyone. And I want evidence for later.

So, it took me a full hour to clean this mess up, scraping egg goo out of the carpet with a rice paddle and a soup spoon, scrubbing the whole area with Zote soap (which is awesome), rinsing it with water and padding the area dry and then vacuumed up the masses of egg shell. And since I didn't want the boys handling raw egg anymore than they already had, this is what they did the whole time:

They had the longest time-out of their lives. I had to keep reminding them that they were in a time-out and that I was still mad and that this was not the time to play. I think they felt punished.

So, besides piles of books weighing down the towels on the floor, this was all that remained. As I was cleaning it all up, I started thinking about some of the other terror stories I've heard of little kids shenanigans; like dumping out several boxes of cereal onto the floor and pouring milk all over it or pouring honey all over the piano keys, and I thought, this little egg event is right up there. Our egg catastrophe will live on... in infamy.

Stamped and Ready to Go

Here, Ben has prepared himself for shipment. I think he is planning on labeling himself, as well. Terribly efficient, really. I didn't get it out of him where he was going, but it's going to cost him $3.36 to get there. Ya, that's right. And we're cleaned out of stamps. Unless I peel them off the windowsill, which is where they all ended up.

So, what do you think? Would you like to find this little boy outside your door?

Well, sorry, I'm keepin' him.

stuck in my head

When I was a young and innocent college sophomore, I did a study abroad in Vienna, Austria. It was a glorious, mind-boggling, and all-around good experience. But that is not really why I'm bringing it up. No, in fact, the reason I mention it at all is because of my Viennese roommate, Sara. Sara and I had a lot of adventures and good times together whilst living in Frau Alfon's Haus in the twenty-third district of Vienna (which is way out there, by the way), but we also had our trials. One of these trials was that I am an unconscious singer. This is true. I often sing two or three lines of a song over and over for a few minutes or hours or days and then forget that it ever happened. For instance, the theme music from Mario Brothers was stuck in my head for aboooooout.... five years. So, as Sara and I were getting ready in the morning I would unconsciously sing a couple of verses of some song or other that was stuck in my head. Then when I saw Sara later in the day she would be singing the song. This happened probably 75% of the time. Truly. And she didn't like it. At all. And told me so. A lot.

So, I would apologize, and make a futile attempt to not sing. But, those of you out there that are plagued with songs stuck in your head know that there is no permanent cure. The only possible solution is to get a different song stuck in your head, but this is a dangerous procedure that is only successful approximately 58% of the time with a multitude of side effects. And anyway, I wasn't really sorry. I just didn't want to get yelled at (which is not an uncommon reason for saying sorry). In fact, I thought it was pretty funny. I still do. In fact, I'm laughing a little just thinking about it.

The reason I bring any of this up is that I've had a new song stuck in my head since Thursday morning. And, I played it for Zach and have managed to get it stuck in his head (this is especially funny, since one line is "I'm just a little girl caught in the moment." Hilarious to hear Zach singing that). So, I'm going to try and get it stuck in your heads too. Because its a fun song and I want to share the joy and spread the disease around a bit.

And, if I'm really lucky, maybe Sara will find it.

Click HERE to hear the music and see the music video

A quick story of the dynamic duo

Their love of the dynamic duo goes beyond paper action figures and movie watching. They both climbed in the tiny, blue recycle bin the other night Ben called Sam Batman and Sam called Ben Robin. I think Robin was calling the shots on this one. They kept falling out and saying "Oh, no. Batman, are you OK?"

Batman: Adventures beyond the Printer

Ben and Sam are really into Batman. Their love comes from the endlessly campy and hilarious Batman movie from the 60s. Wonderful. Anyway, while trying to distract the boys and get something done on the computer, I printed two of the awesome picture above and gave it to the boys to entertain them for a few seconds. Ben thought it was the coolest thing ever and started jumping up and down waving the paper around. But Sam had a problem. He started whining incomprehensibly saying, "Batman. Batman. Batman."

Then after some calming down, I managed to get this out of him: "Mommy, Batman's stuck. Get him out. He needs help."

Apparently, Sam was upset that Batman was "stuck" in the paper and wanted me to cut him free. After I laughed hardily for several moments, I told him no, because it would fall apart. By that point he seemed pretty cool with it and made Batman fly around.

I guess I should print out a Robin too, to help out with dire situations like this one.

Go out and Vote!

threadless.com

Or be really smart and do it last week, like we did, by a mail in vote. Why doesn't everyone do this? It is so, so easy.

Anyway, I'm sure that the whole country (and probably world) is going to be chewing at the bit, half hoping for one candidate and the other half hoping for another. Isn't it bizarre and crazy that we are so evenly divided? I think so. But, no matter who wins, let's all remember that it is an amazing opportunity we have to actually have a say in who will be running our government and creating our laws. An opportunity that only a small portion of the world's population has had throughout history.

And we're darn lucky for that.

So go out and make your voice heard.

Kids and Halloween Fun

This year, because our house has been cursed with a vile, viral plague that has us all a'coughin', a'sneezin', and a'sniffin', we decided to take it pretty easy this year.  Luckily, we did managed to go to a Halloween pumpkin carving party before the curse descended upon us.  Zach and the boys were going to carve the pumpkin.  But, Ben and Sam decided that their talents would be better utilized if they ran off and played in the grass.  

Zach carves our pumpkin.  Sam decides where he should run next.

Ben offers some constructive criticism and then runs off.  

We asked the boys what they wanted to be for Halloween a while ago.  They said superheroes.  I said, "Sweet!"  Because I already had the cape from the Diablitos costumes from last year.  And, if I was a better person I would probably admit that I was asking some leading questions when I broached the Halloween costume question, but I am not a better person.  Of course two days before Halloween Ben said he would rather be a robot.  

Here are Ben and Sam as Superheroes.  

Super Sam!  

Super Ben! 

(unmasked, "gasp!")

The boys did not quite grasp the whole trick-or-treating process this year.  Sam had a major breakdown at the first door because he wanted to go in and play with their toys.  And they kept asking if I would open each individual candy for them.  And they didn't want to put them in their bag.  Probably worried that they would never see them again.And neither of them ever said "trick-or-treat" once, but Ben did keep saying, "next house!"  Maybe they did get it.    

Super Dad and Super Ben

We didn't go around to too many houses, because the boys didn't want to take candy from actual people (they were fine with bowls that had been left out), and then it started to rain.  So, we went home and made the biggest rookie mistake our our parental careers: We let them eat candy.  

Are we idiots?  Oh, ya!  Definitely.  

Super Sam: surveing the area for super dangers

The sugar high that resulted from this blunder kept the boys up and wild until after midnight.  Unfortunately for Zach (and fortunately for me) I had taken some cold medicine that completely knocked me out, so I was barely aware of it.  Until the medicine wore off, and Zach collapsed, and I finally forced the boys to stay in bed.  

  

Super Ben!  Preparing to Trick-or-Treat

So, we're going to take this lesson and learn from it.  Take this whole Halloween candy business a little more seriously.  And eat the rest ourselves.  

Highlight of the evening: When an overexcited Sam was trying to greet his awesome buddy Kimball, and ran into a screen door, bouncing back in a hilarious cartoon fashion.  Ah, kids and Halloween fun.... 

101

Hurray! This is my 101st blog post! Wow. Can you believe it? I was suppose to celebrate my 100th blog post, but I accidentally posted the previous one about the boy's and the haircuts. Alas. But, still celebration is always a good idea, even if it a little off.

Anyway, I went through a lot of options about what I should actually do for this, and I decided to turn it into a big collection of lists, pictures and facts, all of which are things I enjoy writing about and looking at.

10 Random facts about me:

1. My passport says I am a freelance writer (standing goal: make this true. Ditto weight on passport)
2. For a period of three and a half weeks in the fall of 2003 I woke up at exactly 6:30 am with no alarm clock. Very weird.
3. I was awarded a plaque for receiving a perfect 4.0 in high school for all 4 years, even though this is not technically acurate. I did not give back the plaque.
4. I know ALL the words to Don McLean's American Pie song.
5. I've had paper routes in three different states.
6. I have four names.
7. I have perfect eyesight.
8. I was once charged by a cow moose when I inadvertently surprised her and her calf. My parents and brother, portaging a large red canoe over their heads, stopped the charge. Thanks, guys. That would have been nasty.
9. I have been bitten several times by a african pygmy hedgehog.
10. I started and canceled three other blogs before this one took.

Ben and Sam - 1 year old

The 10 most common phrases the boys use:

1. "What doing Sam/Ben/Mommy?"
   
2. "What's going on here?"
3. "Mommy, I want milk/juice!"
4. "Please!"
5. "Sam/Ben, you okay?"
   
6. "Ya, I'm okay."
7. "Daddy's home!"
8. "What's that?"
9. "That's so funny!"
10. "I a robot/superhero/dinosaur!"
    

Sam enjoys sleeping sideways in his crib. I find him like this all the time.

Last 10 Books I read:

1. The Time of the Doves
2. The Host
3. Breaking Dawn
4. Eclipse
5. New Moon
6. Around the World in Eighty Days
7. The Scarlet Pimpernel (Please, just watch this adaptation, it rocks like crazy)
8. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
9. Twilight
10. Jeeves and Wooster

Ben and Sam playing around in our bed.

1. 

Adorable Sam - 1 year old

The Last 10 Places I've Lived:

1. Bay Area, California
2. Platja D'Aro, Spain
3. Provo, Utah
4. Vienna, Austria
5. North Ogden, Utah
6. Warner Robins, Georgia
7. Papillion, Nebraska
8. McGuire, New Jersey
9. Norman, Oklahoma
10. Pittsburg, Pennsylvania

Ben -who loves socks

8 Questions I get asked about the Boys all the time and the answers (besides "are they twins?"):

1. Q: Do twins run in your family? A: Supposedly, but the last person in my family to have twins was my great, great grandmother.
   
2. Q: Were you surprised? A: Yes. I have never been nor will I ever be as surprised as I was that day.
3. Q: Were you on fertility drugs? A: No. It was all me, au naturale.
4. Q: Did you have a C-section? A: Nope, though I was in an operation room in case I needed one. No, dim lights and comfort music for me.
   
5. Q: Did you have any help? A: My Mom stayed with me for several weeks before and after, my sister helped out when she could (considering she has her own kids) and Zach of course is awesome. But, I didn't have any outside help, like babysitters or anything.
   
6. Q: Wow, you must be busy? A: Yes.
7. Q: Who is the dominant twin? A: There isn't one.
   
8. Q: How do you tell them apart? A: They look different. Even though they have the same coloring and several of the same features, there are differences. Their heads are shaped differently, the smiles are a tiny bit different, and their voices are different. And I spend every waking moment with them, so it gets pretty easy. But I have mixed them up, from time to time. It helps now that they know their names.
   

Me, the day I was induced with the boys. I was huge.

1. 

Ben and Sam - their first Easter

7 Questions I have for the Universe:

1. Where do all my bobby pins go?
2. How can I get Stephenie Meyer to write her sequels to The Host faster?
   
3. Why do I always get sick at the worst times?
4. How do the boys always find the wrong things?
5. What's the deal with daylight savings time? I just don't get it.
6. What happened on Roanoke Island?
   
7. Why do people watch reality TV?
   

Ben - 1 year old - helping plant a garden, in which nothing great except weeds.

10 Things I wanted to be when I grew up:

1. a writer
2. an actress
3. an elephant rescuer with an elephant orphanage
4. a history teacher
5. a fashion designer
6. a wedding coordinator
7. an architect
8. an olympic diver
9. a baker
10. a chef

And that's it. I was going to do a 101 facts, but I'm getting tired. Maybe I'll think of more and put them up later. Don't count on it, though.

101 Posts!

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow...

Despite how absolutely adorable the boys look with their little golden curls, we decided it was time to cut them off.  So, we buzzed 'em.  You are probably shocked and aghast!  Cutting off curls!  But, they would wake up with matted head of curls every morning.  And it usually didn't get much better as they day progressed.  

Ben

So, we lured them into their seats with promises of chocolate and got cuttin'.  Zach actually did the cutting, and he did a great job.  I kept everyone happy with M&Ms.    

Ben, avoiding getting hair in his eyes

The boys did surprisingly well with the whole process.  There was very little complaining and no crying.  Hurrah for that!!

This finished project on Ben (doesn't he look so much like Ethan here, fam?)

Sam

Here are the M&Ms in question.  This worked amazingly well.  Except that the boys kept getting tiny hairs in their mouth.  And then they would try to get them out themselves, but their fingers had a bunch of little hairs on them, and then they would get more hair in their mouths and then they would start spitting and then, I would have to break in with a towel or something and wipe them up.  And then they would eat another M&M that had a little hair on it and the whole process would start over.  

Sam, enjoying his chocolate.

But they didn't seem to mind too much.  

Don't they look adorable?